What is Zen ? Alan Watts explains : 
**The Question of the Ego**
The most fascinating question in the world, it seems to me, is this: Who am I? Or: What am I? The one who sees, the one who knows, the one who is: this is indeed the most inaccessible experience of all, a mysterious experience, completely occulted.
We talk about our ego. We use the word "I." I have always been extraordinarily interested in the meaning people give to the word "I," because of the curious forms it can take during conversation. For example, we do not say, "I am a body," but "I have a body." In a way, we do not seem to fully identify ourselves with everything that is "ourselves." I say "my feet," "my hands," "my teeth," as if they were things outside of me. And, as far as I can imagine, most people seem to feel that they are something halfway between their two ears, a bit behind the eyes, inside the head, with the rest being as if attached to this something. And this active principle that is here, we call our ego. This is me!
(...)
But then, what is our ego? An illusion mixed with futility. It is the image we have of ourselves, an incorrect image, a false one, a caricature combined with a futile muscular effort, to make our will feel real.
Would it not be better if the feeling we have of ourselves were in alignment with reality? This reality of our existence, which makes us both the natural environment – that is, in the end, the entire universe – and the organism that plays with it. Why don’t we feel it that way? Obviously, because this feeling is obscured by another. Of social origin, it is the result of a kind of hypnotism exercised through all educational processes, and which creates this hallucinatory impression of being the person we are, which is why we behave like fools.
(...)
We are completely mad.
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**The Solution to the Problem?**
"But," you will say, "how do we overcome this?" I respond that this is the wrong question; overcome what? You cannot rid yourself of the hallucinations that give substance to your ego with your ego. Sorry, but that is impossible, like trying to lift yourself by pulling on your own boots. You don't put out the fire with fire: if you try to rid yourself of your ego using your ego, you fall into a vicious circle. And you are likely to end up like someone who is afraid of worrying because they are worried... you go around in circles, becoming ever more mad.
The first thing to understand when you ask yourself: "What can I do to rid myself of my false ego?" is that the answer is "nothing," because you are asking the wrong question. By asking, "How can I, while experiencing myself as an ego, rid myself of the feeling of being an ego?" the only answer can be "impossible." You then say, "But in that case, it's hopeless!" It is not. Simply, you have not received the message.
If you have discovered that your will and these tricks cannot rid you of this hallucination, you have discovered something very important. By realizing that you could do nothing about it, you have realized that you do not exist. That is, "you" as an ego do not exist, and it is so obvious that you cannot do anything about it. You then notice that you cannot really control your thoughts, your sensations, your emotions, and that all the processes that happen within you and outside of you completely elude you.
But then, what happens? Well, here is what happens: you observe what is happening. You see, you feel everything that occurs, and you suddenly notice, to your great astonishment, that you can perfectly get up, walk to the table, take a glass of milk, and drink it: there is nothing opposing this behavior. You can still act, you can still move, you can still function rationally, but you have suddenly discovered that you are not what you thought you were. In any case, not that ego that pushes and pulls inside its skin sack.
Now, you experience yourself and the entire world in a new way – the whole world including your body and everything you experience throughout your life. It's intelligent. Trust yourself.
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**The Void**
You cannot see your eyes directly with your eyes. You cannot observe yourself observing yourself. You cannot touch the tip of one of your fingers with the same finger, no matter how stubbornly you try. This is simply because there is a reverse to every observation, a kind of blind spot, just as there is one at the back of the eye. No matter how much effort you make, you encounter here an "irreducible hole," it is the unknown. It is the portion of the universe that cannot see itself because it is its own system of vision.
But the unconscious is the part of experience that creates consciousness, just as the hollow constitutes the wave, the space the solid, and the bottom the form. All this aspect of your life that you call unconscious, unknown, impenetrable, is unconscious, unknown, and impenetrable because it is truly yourself. In other words, your deepest self is the "nothingness" side, the side about which nothing can be known.
So, do not be afraid of nothingness – I could say: "There is nothing scary in nothing." But in our culture, people are terrified by the idea of nothingness, as they are by death; they even regret sleeping, considering it a waste of time. Deep down, they feel a vague terror: that the whole universe might eventually sink into a final nothingness. Everything then will be forgotten, dead, and buried. But this is a completely irrational fear, because it is precisely in this nothingness that the source of all things lies.
We need space to live, and space is a kind of nothingness, just like death – the principle is the same. By having space, slices of nothingness, empty distances between things, life is then properly "spaced."
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**Death**
Let us take the fact for granted: there is nothing after death. It is the absolute end; note well that this is the worst thing you have to fear. Does this scare you? But who will be frightened? If we admit that it is the end, there is no longer a problem... But if you follow my reasoning carefully, you will notice that this nothingness is something into which you plunge again, just as you sprang from it when you were born. You spring from nothingness, and nothingness is a kind of leap that makes "nothing" imply "something." You spring forth again, completely new, completely different, with no relation to what you were before; it is a total renewal.
They say that the only things certain are death and taxes. And each of our deaths is as certain as if it were to happen in the next five minutes. In that case, why worry? Where is the problem? Consider that you are already dead, and you will admit that you have nothing left to lose! As a Turkish proverb says, "He who sleeps on the ground is not at risk of falling out of bed." That is how it is for the one who already considers himself as someone dead.
Virtually, you are nothing. In less than a hundred years, you will be nothing but a handful of dust, literally. Start from this reality, and start from this... nothingness. Suddenly, you will surprise yourself. The more you become aware that you are nothing, the more you will become something.
Such is the nature of life, the impulse it gives. I should be elsewhere. If you discover that this is a trick you are playing on yourself, you reach serenity; without abandoning the game simply because you have guessed the trick. You simply tell yourself, "After all, it might be fun to continue the game."
Alan Watts left his body in 1973, during his sleep...
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Let me know if you need further assistance!
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